I was crying uncontrollably ..
I feel like there is a big hole in my heart ..
I find myself lost in thought under the shower ..
I found myself almost hurt, when I’m holding a glass, I think of you, my heart sank ..
the glass was falling almost on my feet ..
when I’m crossing the street, I think of you,
I almost got hit by a motorcycle .. I’m pondering ..
You are everything that I saw for this past 4 years ..
I always look at you ..
but now all of it is different,
There is always something wrong , no matter how hard I try
I want to be happy for you ..
but I can not
but I also do not get angry
I also was not disappointed
You never make me disappointed
for 4 years you always make me smile ..
every time I have sadness,
You gave me strength
you gave me all love that I couldn’t get
I want to understand you,
but I’m too selfish for that
in the past, I’m always happy to see your smile ..
but since that day, I felt my world crumble every time I see your smile
I want to understand you
I know this is difficult for you too
I should support you
but I can not
for the first time in my life, I let myself be sad endlessly..
I’m drowning in my sorrow
I’m immersed in my denial
my heart was back and forth to you
whether I should stay with you
if I could handle all of this or not
if I could bear all this pain or not
if I could see you in the same way , or
I should never see you again
I was really indecisive
I think ,
I lost my world