♫ Hello from the other side
I must’ve called a thousand times
To tell you I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done
But when I call you never seem to be home ♫


apa kabar ?

apakah kamu kesepian ?

aku baik-baik saja .

Tidak terlalu baik ,

tapi setidaknya juga tidak buruk .


I’m scared .

I’m wobble .

I don’t know what kind of live that I live .

It seems so easy ,

but actually it’s not .

I confused with my ownself .

Should I cry ?

Should I run away ?

Should I bear all the pain ?

I am . . .

I am a little kids who frightened with my own future

I am a wobble tenderling who trapped in a body of an adult .

I am never growing up ,

always scared ,

I miss my home

I’m going home, back to the place where I belong ,

And where your love has always been enough for me .

I’m not running from,

No .

I think you got me all wrong ,

I don’t regret this life I chose for me

But these places and these faces are getting old

So I’m going home


What it means to live freely ?

” Not living according to what people want ,

living according to what you have ,

living while doing what you want to do ,


not getting scolded while living like that ” .


I think ,

right now I don’t have a consciousness

I’m not aware with a reality

A reality

that we must

that we should

that we have to

that we shall

to live

“Live” in the definition of other people

“Live” with others expectation

“Live” to obey the rule

People said ,

I waste my time

I wasted an opportunity

But , I said

I’m trying to live

living with my on way

live according to my personal opinion

I just want to live

even though I’m in the unconscious state ,

at least I live on my way

I’m living my ownself

at least I feel that I’m ALIVE


If I had a chance ,

If I could be reborn ,

I want to be born without anyone beside me .

What’s the difference anyway ?

Couple years ago ,

I was born into the world

with bunch of people cherish on me ,

they’re greet me happily ,

but now ,

as time passed …

I feel like they tortured me

this family

this society

I hurt , they hurt me ,

many times  .

There’s a lot of people around me ,

but I’m lonely

It felt like , I could kill myself anytime

that word

that sentence

They hurt me everytime they talk

Their words strangle my neck

Their grin stab my heart

Their laugh shove my pride


I Living In Hell

I hide it

That pain .

I keep it , far away …

at the bottom of my heart .

That insult ,

I throw it far

That scar ,

I hide it well

That mockery ,

scattered my dream thousand times .

That hurtful words ,

destroy my soul every night


I pretend that nothing happen

I try to smile brightly ,

as bright as sunshine

I laughing hard and loud

the more I getting pain , the louder I laugh

That wound is stinging ,

but I keep and hide it well …

very well ,

so well , till I even didn’t feel hurt anymore …

I hide it so well ,

When I view at my heart ,

it was numb ,

it was die .

Then I realize ,

myself is barely breathing …

myself is trying to live again …

but I can’t

Because ,

I hide it so well