Arsip Kategori: pribadi

Drunk

That night , I was a little bit drunk …

Then a thought passing in my head

I think I’ve fallen in love with you

Deeply

Madly

and

Unexpectedly…

 

One thing for sure , this is something that I can’t handle

My heart can’t handle it

It beaten faster everytime our eyes met

Your voice is the most melodious thing that I ever heard

I remember you  chuckling every time I joked

I remember every wrinkle lines that form every time you laugh

 

Then I realize ,

I’m a little bit drunk

so I try to throw away  that thought

the next day, when I was already sober

that thought come back

I think I’m still drunk

 

Then the next day , I keep thinking the same thing ..

I tried to calm myself by saying that I am still a little bit drunk

Then the next day ..

The thought that I’m fallen for you is comeback …

 

That was a horrible and painful thing to think about

I hope , this is not love

It just because I’m drunk

Iklan

Live_Freely

What it means to live freely ?

” Not living according to what people want ,

living according to what you have ,

living while doing what you want to do ,

and

not getting scolded while living like that ” .

I WANT TO LIVE

I think ,

right now I don’t have a consciousness

I’m not aware with a reality

A reality

that we must

that we should

that we have to

that we shall

to live

“Live” in the definition of other people

“Live” with others expectation

“Live” to obey the rule

People said ,

I waste my time

I wasted an opportunity

But , I said

I’m trying to live

living with my on way

live according to my personal opinion

I just want to live

even though I’m in the unconscious state ,

at least I live on my way

I’m living my ownself

at least I feel that I’m ALIVE

Alone

If I had a chance ,

If I could be reborn ,

I want to be born without anyone beside me .

What’s the difference anyway ?

Couple years ago ,

I was born into the world

with bunch of people cherish on me ,

they’re greet me happily ,

but now ,

as time passed …

I feel like they tortured me

this family

this society

I hurt , they hurt me ,

many times  .

There’s a lot of people around me ,

but I’m lonely

It felt like , I could kill myself anytime

that word

that sentence

They hurt me everytime they talk

Their words strangle my neck

Their grin stab my heart

Their laugh shove my pride

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I Living In Hell

I hide it

That pain .

I keep it , far away …

at the bottom of my heart .

That insult ,

I throw it far

That scar ,

I hide it well

That mockery ,

scattered my dream thousand times .

That hurtful words ,

destroy my soul every night

hide

I pretend that nothing happen

I try to smile brightly ,

as bright as sunshine

I laughing hard and loud

the more I getting pain , the louder I laugh

That wound is stinging ,

but I keep and hide it well …

very well ,

so well , till I even didn’t feel hurt anymore …

I hide it so well ,

When I view at my heart ,

it was numb ,

it was die .

Then I realize ,

myself is barely breathing …

myself is trying to live again …

but I can’t

Because ,

I hide it so well

Home

People say ,

Home is where the heart rest ..

Home is a comfortable place ..

But ,

I don’t think so

I even more lonely when I’m at home 

more devastated when I’m at home

All this time ,

I had a reason to run away from home ,

I had a reason to be busy so I didn’t need to stay at home 

But this time , isn’t longer …..

I had to find another excuse to be able to run away again from home 

Like many years ago ,

I was forced to leave my own “home”

It’s seems like imprint on my mind ,

that I shouldn’t be at home 

I’m not fit to be at home 

or ,

Is it what I called home , isn’t my real home ?