If I had a chance ,

If I could be reborn ,

I want to be born without anyone beside me .

What’s the difference anyway ?

Couple years ago ,

I was born into the world

with bunch of people cherish on me ,

they’re greet me happily ,

but now ,

as time passed …

I feel like they tortured me

this family

this society

I hurt , they hurt me ,

many times  .

There’s a lot of people around me ,

but I’m lonely

It felt like , I could kill myself anytime

that word

that sentence

They hurt me everytime they talk

Their words strangle my neck

Their grin stab my heart

Their laugh shove my pride


I Living In Hell

I hide it

That pain .

I keep it , far away …

at the bottom of my heart .

That insult ,

I throw it far

That scar ,

I hide it well

That mockery ,

scattered my dream thousand times .

That hurtful words ,

destroy my soul every night


I pretend that nothing happen

I try to smile brightly ,

as bright as sunshine

I laughing hard and loud

the more I getting pain , the louder I laugh

That wound is stinging ,

but I keep and hide it well …

very well ,

so well , till I even didn’t feel hurt anymore …

I hide it so well ,

When I view at my heart ,

it was numb ,

it was die .

Then I realize ,

myself is barely breathing …

myself is trying to live again …

but I can’t

Because ,

I hide it so well

‘SPY’ Rilis Poster Resmi & Potongan Gambar Kim Jaejoong dan Go Sung Hee



Drama KBS mendatang, ‘SPY’ merilis poster drama resmi dan beragam potongan gambar Kim Jaejoong dan Go Sung Hee, setelah sebelumnya merilis teaser pertama mereka.

Dalam poster terlihat aktris Bae Jong Ok yang melindungi Kim Jaejoong sambil menodongkan pistol ke pria misterius. Sedangkan poster lain menunjukkan para karakter utamanya.

Lihat pos aslinya 56 kata lagi


People say ,

Home is where the heart rest ..

Home is a comfortable place ..

But ,

I don’t think so

I even more lonely when I’m at home 

more devastated when I’m at home

All this time ,

I had a reason to run away from home ,

I had a reason to be busy so I didn’t need to stay at home 

But this time , isn’t longer …..

I had to find another excuse to be able to run away again from home 

Like many years ago ,

I was forced to leave my own “home”

It’s seems like imprint on my mind ,

that I shouldn’t be at home 

I’m not fit to be at home 

or ,

Is it what I called home , isn’t my real home ? 


Everyone changed

and only me , who stuck in the same place 

Everyone ran ,

and it seems I’m the only one who just start to crawl

Everyone has a change in their life , 

and I still the same 

Sometimes it hurts 

almost everytime it hurts 

as if everyone changed for the better , 

and I’m the only one without change ..

I think I’m afraid 

afraid to change 

I have a fear to change , 

it’s like everything gonna dissappear the minute I change 

but ,

I was also afraid to miss something better 

I don’t wanna lose from others 

I think I’m crazy 

I think , 

I have a mental disorder 

I think ,

I’m the one who punish myself 

















I am Pagliacci ..
I still Pagliacci ..
and ..

I want to stop being Pagliacci 

I want to cry when my heart broken 

I want to mourn when my life is miserable ..
I do not want to be Pagliacci forever ..