17:25

Di dalam kepalaku 

aku seperti anak yang kerap kali terjatuh tak memandang arah

di dalam kepalaku aku selalu bermuram 

didalam kepalaku aku selalu merasa sepi

mungkinkah aku memang sudah terlalu jauh dari Tuhan

seperti kata mereka, kedamaian hanya ada dalam jalan Tuhan

apakah benar seperti itu ?

sungguhkah aku akan mendapat asa kembali ?

rona merah jingga matahari yang selalu malu ketika sudah jam 17:25

aku menyukai waktu itu ,

di waktu itu aku selalu merasa damai

apakah aku harus mencari Tuhan di waktu itu saja ?

17:25

mereka bilang aku berdosa karena sudah terlalu jauh dari Tuhan

aku bilang aku hanya belum tahu 

aku belum tahu apakah harus menaruh segala dan seluruh 

asa ragaku kepada Tuhan

di batas kesadaranku kerap aku ingin kembali padaNya

di batas normalku sering aku menangis untuk yang kata orang adalah karuniaNya

di batas wajarku aku selalu mengaku percaya padaNya 

tapi di dalam kepalaku ,

sering aku mengutukNya

I keep getting lonely these days.

All the memories from years ago comeback again.

No.

It’s not the same pain,

It’s not the same scars.

It’s the new one. whit the same pain, maybe…

 

But

I don’t know since when it start,

but I keep feeling lonely and scared and worry.

I don’t know what am I worried about,

I don’t know what am I scared about,

It just happen.

Everytime I think about my life, I’m gettin sad and cry,

Everytime I think about my future, I’m tearing up.

It’s hard to tell other people,

I scared that they will scoff at me,

I scared that they will see me in a weird way,

But I think,

I neep help.

 

 

 

Drunk

That night , I was a little bit drunk …

Then a thought passing in my head

I think I’ve fallen in love with you

Deeply

Madly

and

Unexpectedly…

 

One thing for sure , this is something that I can’t handle

My heart can’t handle it

It beaten faster everytime our eyes met

Your voice is the most melodious thing that I ever heard

I remember you  chuckling every time I joked

I remember every wrinkle lines that form every time you laugh

 

Then I realize ,

I’m a little bit drunk

so I try to throw away  that thought

the next day, when I was already sober

that thought come back

I think I’m still drunk

 

Then the next day , I keep thinking the same thing ..

I tried to calm myself by saying that I am still a little bit drunk

Then the next day ..

The thought that I’m fallen for you is comeback …

 

That was a horrible and painful thing to think about

I hope , this is not love

It just because I’m drunk

Airbag – Tablo ft. Naul

 

Hangul

I need an airbag. 다가오는 거대한 슬픔에 부딪히기 전에.

집에 가기 싫은 밤이면 택시 기사 아저씨가 빠른 길만 피해가.라디오에선 말 많은 디제이가 쉽게 웃어주는 게스트와 노래는 틀지 않지, 대화가 길어져. 평상시엔 듣기 싫어서 주파수를 돌려 달라 했겠지만, 뭐, 듣고 싶은 노래도 없는데. 계속 떠들게 내 생각 음소거를 해. 알 수 없는 말에 폭소가 이어지고, 굳은 표정이었던 기사 아저씨도 함께 웃는 것을 보니 요즘 뜨는 유행어인가봐. 어쩌면 나만 섬인가봐. 끝내 누군가의 신청곡이 소개돼. 한때 참 좋아했던 슬픈 노래. 저 사람도 혼자 있을까, 긴 하루가 잠시 잠드는 곳에?

I need an airbag. 다가오는 거대한 슬픔에 부딪히기 전에.
I need an airbag. 피하기엔 너무 늦었어.

요즘은 정리할 일도 많아 잘 취하지도 않아. 그렇다고 술자리를 피하지도 않아. 혼자 있기 싫은 걸까? 아니면 눈에 띄게 혼자이고 싶은 걸까? 내게 외로움은 당연해. 과연 내 곁에 누군가 있다고 해서 나눠가질 내가 있을까? 달기 싫은 물음표. 다행히도 그때, 크게 통화중인 목소리가 귀로 붙네. 약속 잡힌 술 모임이 취소 됐나봐. 전화를 끊고 뭔가 토라진 아저씨는 투덜대고, 내 시선은 미터기 위에 삐뚤어지게 붙여놓은 가족사진. 방황하게 되는 건, 집이 없어서 혹은 갈 길이 없어서일까? 갈 곳은 많아도, 그 어디에도 나를 기다리는 사람이 없어서 일까?

I need an airbag. 다가오는 거대한 슬픔에 부딪히기 전에.
I need an airbag. 피하기엔 너무 늦었어.

I guess I’m all alone again.
I guess I’m all alone again.
I guess I’m all alone again.
Once again.

I guess I’m all alone again.
I guess I’m all alone again.
I guess I’m all alone again.
Once again.

나 지금 위험해.
na jigeum wiheomhae.
나 지금 위험해.
na jigeum wiheomhae.
부딪치지 마.
buditchiji ma.

언제 오기 시작했는지. 어느새 창밖을 보니 비가 내린지 한참이 된 듯이 빗물이 길 바닥에 고여 그 위에 비친 교통사고 전광판이 보여. 이때 왜, 잘살고 있을 네가 하필 기억이나 눈물이 고이는지… ‘사망’이란 단어 옆에 숫자 1이 어찌나… 외롭게 보이는지.

I need an airbag. 다가오는 거대한 슬픔에 부딪히기 전에.

I need an airbag. 피하기엔 너무 늦었어.

네가 그리운 이 밤. 비가 오고 미끄러지는 내 마음.
I need you, yes I need you, my airbag.

I guess I’m all alone again.
I guess I’m all alone again.
I guess I’m all alone again.
Once again.

I guess I’m all alone again.
I guess I’m all alone again.
I guess I’m all alone again.
Not again.

 

 

English 

 

I need an airbag
Before I hit the great sadness that approaches

On nights that I don’t want to go home,
The taxi driver only avoids the shortcuts
On the radio, the DJ and the guests who laugh too easily just talk
They don’t play music and the conversation gets longer
Usually, I don’t like listening to that so I would’ve asked to change the station
But whatever, there isn’t a song that I want to listen to anyway
They keep blabbing so my thoughts are on mute
Laughter bursts from words that I don’t pay attention to
Seeing as how even the stone-faced taxi driver starts to laugh
I guess it’s a popular saying that is trending these days
Perhaps I’m the only island
Afterwards, someone introduces a requested song
A sad song that I used to really like at one point
I wonder if that person is alone as well
In a place where a long day can rest

* I need an airbag
Before I hit the great sadness that approaches
I need an airbag
It’s too late to avoid it

There are so many things to take care of these days
I can’t even get properly drunk
But it’s not like I avoid drinking sessions
Maybe it’s because I don’t want to be alone
Or is it because I want it to be obvious that I want to be alone?
Lonliness is a common thing to me
Will I be able to share myself if there was someone by my side?
It’s a question mark that I don’t want to place at the end
But to my relief, I hear a loud voice on the phone
I guess the taxi driver’s plans for drinking have been canceled
He hangs up the phone and grumbles, as if he’s mad
My eyes linger on the family photo taped above the meter
I wonder if the reason for this wandering is because
There is no home, or there is nowhere to go
Or is it that there are lots of places to go
But no one to wait for me?

I guess I’m all alone again
I guess I’m all alone again
I guess I’m all alone again
Once again (x2)

I’m dangerous right now
I’m dangerous right now
Don’t crash into me

I don’t know since when it started to fall
But at some point, I look out the window
And as if it’s been raining for a while,
There are puddles on the street floor
Reflected in those puddles, I see a neon billboard for car accidents
Right then, why am I remembering you, who is probably doing well right now
Why are tears forming?
The number “1” next to the word “Death:” seems so lonely

On this night where I long for you
The rain comes and my heart gets slippery
I need you, yes I need you, my airbag

I guess I’m all alone again
I guess I’m all alone again
I guess I’m all alone again
Once again

I guess I’m all alone again
I guess I’m all alone again
I guess I’m all alone again
Not again

 

 

 

 

♫ Hello from the other side
I must’ve called a thousand times
To tell you I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done
But when I call you never seem to be home ♫

Hai

apa kabar ?

apakah kamu kesepian ?

aku baik-baik saja .

Tidak terlalu baik ,

tapi setidaknya juga tidak buruk .

Scared

I’m scared .

I’m wobble .

I don’t know what kind of live that I live .

It seems so easy ,

but actually it’s not .

I confused with my ownself .

Should I cry ?

Should I run away ?

Should I bear all the pain ?

I am . . .

I am a little kids who frightened with my own future

I am a wobble tenderling who trapped in a body of an adult .

I am never growing up ,

always scared ,

I miss my home

I’m going home, back to the place where I belong ,

And where your love has always been enough for me .

I’m not running from,

No .

I think you got me all wrong ,

I don’t regret this life I chose for me

But these places and these faces are getting old

So I’m going home

What it means to live freely ?

” Not living according to what people want ,

living according to what you have ,

living while doing what you want to do ,

and

not getting scolded while living like that ” .

I WANT TO LIVE

I think ,

right now I don’t have a consciousness

I’m not aware with a reality

A reality

that we must

that we should

that we have to

that we shall

to live

“Live” in the definition of other people

“Live” with others expectation

“Live” to obey the rule

People said ,

I waste my time

I wasted an opportunity

But , I said

I’m trying to live

living with my on way

live according to my personal opinion

I just want to live

even though I’m in the unconscious state ,

at least I live on my way

I’m living my ownself

at least I feel that I’m ALIVE

I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud – william wordsworth

Alone

If I had a chance ,

If I could be reborn ,

I want to be born without anyone beside me .

What’s the difference anyway ?

Couple years ago ,

I was born into the world

with bunch of people cherish on me ,

they’re greet me happily ,

but now ,

as time passed …

I feel like they tortured me

this family

this society

I hurt , they hurt me ,

many times  .

There’s a lot of people around me ,

but I’m lonely

It felt like , I could kill myself anytime

that word

that sentence

They hurt me everytime they talk

Their words strangle my neck

Their grin stab my heart

Their laugh shove my pride

I Living In Hell